Summer’s here and that means planning more one-on-one time with each child and with my wife. Without the same kind of tight schedule, I can spread out for a day to take my five year old to a pint-sized theme park. My eight year old wants to go to more baseball games. And my 12 year old prefers to attend a rock concert or two. We have a couple of local ticket discounters that we signed up for and that really help make concerts, ball games, and plays cheaper. The best, in terms of quality entertainment and price, has been Goldstar.com, which discounts tickets in cities around the country, including Los Angeles, Chicago, Minneapolis-St. Paul, and New York, among a bunch of other locales. What kinds of in-town activities are you all doing during the summer? What concerts or ball games have you gone or will you go to?
Less than an hour ago, we said goodbye to our cat, Sarah. This is the second time we’ve decided to put down an old cat (she was 19) who was deteriorating before our eyes, unable to hold her bladder and not even purring anymore. I had a hard time with the decision — I hate these adult responsibilities of having to deal with life and death. My wife and I thoroughly talked it through and we brought her in to the vet together. The vet, Dr. Ullman, was truly amazing. Very compassionate and great in that she went through all the scenarios between putting our cat down or letting her go. The reality was that Sarah was so miserable and she was not going to get better.
Thankfully, we had told our kids that this was likely to happen and they had said their goodbyes. The fact is that, while the kids liked her, the cat loathed being last in line for attention behind the boys. After our second child arrived, out of revenge, Sarah peed — many times - through our bedroom carpet all the way through to the wood baseboard before we figured out exactly what she was doing.
Still, I’m writing this blog to try to sort through the emotions of letting go of a cat who had been with us since my wife and I were in the second year of couplehood. I will miss her strange meow (like a pouting infant) and chubby tummy. It was time to release her. Rest in peace, Sarah.
In an effort to get the word out about FamilyManOnline.com and Father’s Day, I’ve agreed to post on T-Mobile’s Facebook and Twitter pages. There will be a different father each day through Sunday. I’m up tomorrow, (Tuesday, June 15), so check it out!
My wife got us in to a preview of Despicable Me, which Universal Studios will release nationwide on July 9. The trailer of the warring villains — Gru is voiced by Steve Carell and Vector is Jason Segel — was long on gimmicks but short on evidence of a story. The film itself is mostly sight gags and a barrage of clever lines until Gru meets three orphan children who significantly influence Gru’s plan to steal the moon. From then on, Despicable Me shows how Gru (Carell lends marvelous nuance to the character) evolves from an annoyed caretaker to an attentive father. This film belongs in acategory with The Incredibles for depicting parenting better than almost any live-action movie. With such a solid story and great voice performances, the 3D seemed superfluous. Touching and very, very funny.
Despite grand plans to watch everything on TV, we’ve only managed to watch highlights so far of the FIFA World Cup. We’ve been listening on the radio, which is better than I expected. Who is that Irish commentator on ESPN? Great fun to listen to his hyper-dramaticization of the few goals being scored. Best part of the Cup, thus far? Teaching my kids — and myself — geography and culture highlights.
With Father’s Day coming around on June 20, I’ve gotten a chance to check out possible gift ideas. My personal wish list includes a new digital video camera and an iPad, but those aren’t fitting the family budget at the moment. In addition to my favorite presents — the one’s my children make for me (even if they draw pictures of me that make me look more bald than I am) – I appreciate gifts that make my life a bit easier.
Enter the Car Trunk Organizer and Cooler from RedEnvelope.com. As some of you may know from my columns, I am proud to drive a “Father Ship.” The ample trunk space is nice in my minivan, but it is a serious challenge to find anything amidst the piles of sports equipment, jackets, school papers, and more. So I wanted to try out this organizer, which promised to keep my car’s backside in order. The product is a rather sleek and classy looking thing, befitting a Jaguar more than an Odyssey, but it does look spiffy in black with the silver piping. Three easily washable main compartments flexibly hold a grocery bag in each one or any combination of the groceries, several baseball gloves, extra clothes, or even your laptop. The separate cooler has a sturdy handle to carry a small picnic or a passel of snacks. It can be slotted into one of the compartments or toted separately. Pockets on either side of the organizer can keep papers or paperbacks or sunscreen. I would’ve liked some kind of water bottle holders in case I only had a couple to stow in the organizer, but it can hold them upright if you prop other items against them in the cooler.
Fully expanded to its two-feet, the organizer won’t take much trunk space and influence the rest of your trunk to look neater. The whole thing can be velcroed down when you’re not using it, though you will likely want to keep it busy full-time. You can even take the whole organizer out with the reinforced handles to transfer it to another car or carry it out to the park if you’ve packed it with the day’s necessities.
A few weeks ago, my sixth-grader son needed to read a biography for a class paper. I searched my bookshelves and brought him out a selection I thought he might like, secretly hoping he would select one that meant a lot to me in particular. Sure enough, he chose They Call Me Coach, the autobiography John Wooden wrote with the help of Jack Tobin. My son took the book to school to start reading it, and when he came back he told me it had been inscribed by Wooden to me. I had totally forgotten where I had purchased it — at John Wooden Basketball Camp in 1974. It was at that camp that I met Coach, who went around to personally greet his many campers. It was at that camp that I learned about big things such as the Pyramid of Success (a philosophy of life as well as basketball) and seemingly little stuff, including how to double-knot my shoes so the laces never untie.
On June 4, John Wooden died of natural causes, just a few months shy of his 99th birthday. He leaves behind a record of 10 NCAA men’s basketball championships, but — and this is what is universally mentioned in the obituraries — a legacy of teaching others how to (as he was fond of saying) ”make each day your masterpiece.” Growing up attending UCLA games he coached, going to camps he ran, reading his books, and attending the college at which he worked and still held sway decades after his retirement, I have not only learned from this educational master but also been informed about how to teach my own children. He even has a book called Inch and Miles (again found at his official Web sit under the Bookstore tab), which puts his teachings into a picture book for kids.
As a middle schooler, I lived for a while near Coach. I had a carpool that picked me up on a corner that he often power-walked past. On days I wasn’t so shy, I would say hello as he went by and he always smiled and greeted me back. That was the way Coach was, a combination of awesome greatness with approachable folksiness.
Role models are harder and harder to find in the public world of celebrity. Thankfully, Coach will forever teach through his writings, videos, and lasting influence.
I grew up hearing the stories, reading the books, and seeing movies about the Holocaust that saw 6 million Jews and millions of Gypsies, homosexuals, the mentally disabled, and other human beings die at the hands of those who organized genocide during World War II. The world did not expect such a systematic killing of people, yet genocides have happened since and continue today in places such as Darfur in the Sudan.
So when I was given the opportunity to go on a program called March of the Living with an organization called BJE Los Angeles, I went. I went so I could see first-hand evidence of the Nazi destruction. I went to hear the personal stories of seven survivors of the Holocaust. I went to chaperone more than 160 brave teenagers (many of whom I have taught in my classrooms) who wanted to see and learn and never forget. I went to celebrate that life goes on and to solidify my belief that we must educate ourselves and teach others the imperative of respecting life for all human beings. I went for my children, who will inherit a world I must try — in whatever small ways — to make better.
Happy Mother’s Day to the wondrous women in our lives. To my own mom, who just passed her last test to be a dental assistant and puts all her love into work-of-art birthday cards for my boys. To my step-mom, who takes my kids on adventures of culture and silliness. To my grandma, who catches so many small details of my children. To my mom-in-law, who shows my sons to appreciate dogs, water, and laughter. To my sister, who I’m so lucky to have as a friend and a parenting confidante. And to my wife, who is so much more than this month’s column can say.
It’s relatively straightforward for us parents to deal with a product recall, like the one that recently occurred with McNeil Consumer Healthcare, which pulled products such as children’s versions of Tylenol, Tylenol Plus, Motrin, Zyrtec, and Benadryl because of “quality” issues (such as a higher concentration of an active ingredient). What freaks most of us out is a situation in which kids engage in destructive behaviors without significant warning signs. I really try not to be an alarmist, but the recent story of a child who died while playing the “choking game” hit hard. The game involves hanging from a rope or otherwise strangling in order to get the high that occurs from losing brain cells while suffocation is in process. The trick is to stop the choking before reaching the point of no return, yet that didn’t happen with this one boy. His age? 12…
What packs an even bigger punch is that many kids who play this game do so because they don’t want to do such forbidden things as drugs or alcohol. They are often high-achieving young people who go for a “natural” high. They still want to be good kids by not polluting their bodies. Well, there’s nothing natural about this and it points out fundamental issues. We must keep communicating with our children about their lives and stay involved in their world. Know their friends and be supportive. Talk to them about things like this choking game. It’s real. Even if your kid is a bit more sensitive, at least broach the subject of staying safe and calling you or stepping away from dangerous situations, despite the social acceptance issues.
What are your thoughts? How can we keep our kids safe when they think they’re still being good?
